Traditionally, it was thought that autistic individuals were not interested in having sexual or romantic relationships. However, the reality is that this couldn't be further from the truth. My Personal Experiences: For me personally, I had always envisioned that I would have what my parents had: I would meet my future husband at a young age, I would get married in my early to mid-twenties, & I would start creating my family shortly after that. If things had gone how I had planned, I would have two or three children at this point in my life. As a very young child, I struggled with being able to relate to & connect with others. Back then, I didn't know what I know now: that this was why I didn't have friends. In fact, the majority of my friendships, particularly in my younger years, were forced on me by my mom. As I got older, my inability to relate to & connect with others also interfered with my romantic relationships, the longest one lasting just a couple short months. Both relationships ended for the exact same reason: physical intimacy was extremely uncomfortable for me. Eventually, I realized that my inability to form personal connections & relationships isn't something I would ever outgrow & it would haunt me for the rest of my life. While yes, I did come to this realization, does this mean I have accepted this reality? Absolutely not. As I'm quickly approaching my mid-thirties, my biological clock is ticking, which is absolutely terrifying. This is also the reason why whenever I hear of a couple who is newly engaged or who is expecting a baby, it causes intense sadness for me, rather than causing me to be happy for the couple, like I should be. Dating has always been extraordinarily challenging for me & now I know why: being an autistic individual, no matter how much you want love, can make the dating scene almost impossible to navigate. Autism & Sexual Orientation: On a different, but relatable note, as the month of June, otherwise known as Pride Month, comes to an end, I wanted to touch on the correlation between autism & the LGBTQIA+ community. Did you know that autistic people are more likely to identify as LGBTQIA+ than allistic, or non-autistic, people are? According to a 2021 study conducted by the Autism Research Centre at the University of Cambridge in the UK, autistic individuals are three to nine times less likely to be heterosexual than individuals in the allistic population. About 2,400 people ages sixteen to ninety, which included 1,183 autistic individuals, participated in this study. This research found that autistic men were more than three times more likely to identify as bisexual than their allistic counterparts would be. On the other hand, autistic women were slightly less than two & a half times more likely to identify as either bisexual or homosexual than their allistic counterparts would be. In regards to sexual activity, the research revealed that autistic individuals are less likely to be sexually active. More specifically, the research found that for every ten neurotypical adults who were sexually active, only four autistic adults could say the same. It was also found that autistic people were close to eight times more likely to identify as asexual than their allistic counterparts would be. Regardless of asexuality, this research also revealed that autistic women in particular had less sexual desire & less libido than allistic women did. What Is Asexuality?: The "A" in LGBTQIA+ stands for asexuality. An asexual person does not experience sexual attraction— they are not drawn to people sexually & they have no sexual desires. Unlike celibacy, which is the choice to abstain from sexual activity, asexuality is not a choice, but is an integral part of who we are that we are born with, just like other sexual orientations. Like autism, asexuality is a very diverse spectrum, meaning every asexual person has his or her own very specific needs & boundaries regarding relationships, attraction, arousal, physical intimacy, & more. Why Are Autistic People More Likely To Identify As LGBTQIA+?:
There isn't currently any firm scientific evidence as to why autistic people are more likely to identify as LGBTQIA+ than their allistic counterparts are. However, according to Cambridge researcher & doctoral scientist Elizabeth Weir, "One possibility is that people with autism may be less attached to social expectations & feel more free to express their true identity." Autism & Gender Identity: According to a 2020 study, also conducted by the Autism Research Centre at the University of Cambridge, transgender & gender-diverse adults are three to six times more likely to receive an autism diagnosis than their cisgender counterparts are. About 600,000 adults in the UK participated in this study. However, it is likely that many of these transgender & gender-diverse adults were undiagnosed as autistic during the time of the study. While about 1.1% of the UK population was estimated to be diagnosed as autistic during the time of the study, this study suggests that between 3.5 & 6.5% of transgender & gender-diverse adults in the UK are autistic.
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In my previous blog post about Autism Speaks, I briefly mentioned that my life would be so much easier I wasn't autistic & that I wish I wasn't autistic, but I didn't get into why I feel that way. Let's take a moment to get into that now. Why I Wish I Wasn't Autistic:
I know I am not like most autistic people, but this is truly how I feel about being autistic & how I think being autistic hinders my life. I would be elated if there was a cure for autism, or even if there was a medication (with minimal side effects) I could take that could get rid of my autistic traits, but, at the same time, I know that that isn't going to happen. At least not in my lifetime. I am someone who was brought up to be accepting of all people: different religions, different backgrounds, different cultures, different disabilities, etc. So, whether you are autistic or not, all I ask is that you are accepting of me regardless of whether you think similarly or differently from me. I am using Splashed With Water as a way to educate, but also to share what it's like to be an autistic woman & thinking these thoughts is part of what being an autistic woman is like for me. Now that we've covered why I DO want a cure for autism, let's talk about why most autistics disagree with me.
Why Autistics Don't Want A Cure For Autism:
You'll find that throughout this blog, my personal opinion often differs from the opinion of the autistic community as a whole. When that happens, I'll do my best to cover both sides. I hope doing it this way was helpful to you. This also shows you that all autistic people are different from one another, just like how all neurotypical people are different from one another. |
AuthorHello! My name is Kim, I didn't know I was autistic until I was in my thirties, & this is my story. Categories
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