Traditionally, it was thought that autistic individuals were not interested in having sexual or romantic relationships. However, the reality is that this couldn't be further from the truth. My Personal Experiences: For me personally, I had always envisioned that I would have what my parents had: I would meet my future husband at a young age, I would get married in my early to mid-twenties, & I would start creating my family shortly after that. If things had gone how I had planned, I would have two or three children at this point in my life. As a very young child, I struggled with being able to relate to & connect with others. Back then, I didn't know what I know now: that this was why I didn't have friends. In fact, the majority of my friendships, particularly in my younger years, were forced on me by my mom. As I got older, my inability to relate to & connect with others also interfered with my romantic relationships, the longest one lasting just a couple short months. Both relationships ended for the exact same reason: physical intimacy was extremely uncomfortable for me. Eventually, I realized that my inability to form personal connections & relationships isn't something I would ever outgrow & it would haunt me for the rest of my life. While yes, I did come to this realization, does this mean I have accepted this reality? Absolutely not. As I'm quickly approaching my mid-thirties, my biological clock is ticking, which is absolutely terrifying. This is also the reason why whenever I hear of a couple who is newly engaged or who is expecting a baby, it causes intense sadness for me, rather than causing me to be happy for the couple, like I should be. Dating has always been extraordinarily challenging for me & now I know why: being an autistic individual, no matter how much you want love, can make the dating scene almost impossible to navigate. Autism & Sexual Orientation: On a different, but relatable note, as the month of June, otherwise known as Pride Month, comes to an end, I wanted to touch on the correlation between autism & the LGBTQIA+ community. Did you know that autistic people are more likely to identify as LGBTQIA+ than allistic, or non-autistic, people are? According to a 2021 study conducted by the Autism Research Centre at the University of Cambridge in the UK, autistic individuals are three to nine times less likely to be heterosexual than individuals in the allistic population. About 2,400 people ages sixteen to ninety, which included 1,183 autistic individuals, participated in this study. This research found that autistic men were more than three times more likely to identify as bisexual than their allistic counterparts would be. On the other hand, autistic women were slightly less than two & a half times more likely to identify as either bisexual or homosexual than their allistic counterparts would be. In regards to sexual activity, the research revealed that autistic individuals are less likely to be sexually active. More specifically, the research found that for every ten neurotypical adults who were sexually active, only four autistic adults could say the same. It was also found that autistic people were close to eight times more likely to identify as asexual than their allistic counterparts would be. Regardless of asexuality, this research also revealed that autistic women in particular had less sexual desire & less libido than allistic women did. What Is Asexuality?: The "A" in LGBTQIA+ stands for asexuality. An asexual person does not experience sexual attraction— they are not drawn to people sexually & they have no sexual desires. Unlike celibacy, which is the choice to abstain from sexual activity, asexuality is not a choice, but is an integral part of who we are that we are born with, just like other sexual orientations. Like autism, asexuality is a very diverse spectrum, meaning every asexual person has his or her own very specific needs & boundaries regarding relationships, attraction, arousal, physical intimacy, & more. Why Are Autistic People More Likely To Identify As LGBTQIA+?:
There isn't currently any firm scientific evidence as to why autistic people are more likely to identify as LGBTQIA+ than their allistic counterparts are. However, according to Cambridge researcher & doctoral scientist Elizabeth Weir, "One possibility is that people with autism may be less attached to social expectations & feel more free to express their true identity." Autism & Gender Identity: According to a 2020 study, also conducted by the Autism Research Centre at the University of Cambridge, transgender & gender-diverse adults are three to six times more likely to receive an autism diagnosis than their cisgender counterparts are. About 600,000 adults in the UK participated in this study. However, it is likely that many of these transgender & gender-diverse adults were undiagnosed as autistic during the time of the study. While about 1.1% of the UK population was estimated to be diagnosed as autistic during the time of the study, this study suggests that between 3.5 & 6.5% of transgender & gender-diverse adults in the UK are autistic.
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This afternoon, I asked a close family member of mine for relationship advice (something I rarely do), which led to a conversation where he made a statement that I just can't stand. A statement he's made multiple times before. A statement I've corrected many, many times. A statement that causes me to cringe more with each time I hear it. And yet, a statement he continues to say. Specifically, the statement he said was, "The more I learn about autism, the more I believe that everyone is on the autism spectrum." Other ways of saying this are "We’re all a little bit autistic" & "All of us are autistic to a degree." If you've been in the autism community for long enough, you've likely heard one of these statements, or a similar statement that suggests that everyone is autistic. So, going off of that, the topic of today's blog post is about what these kinds of statements really mean & why hearing these statements hurts so much. As much as it hurts to hear statements like these, these are common beliefs among allistic, or non-autistic people, so I wanted to take the time to explain where these beliefs come from & what is so wrong about them. However, before we dive in, I want to make one thing clear. If you've ever said something like, "Everyone is on the autism spectrum" before, this post isn't about telling you that you are bad or wrong. I totally understand where the belief comes from & I know that most people who say statements like these are trying to be compassionate towards the autistic person they're talking with. However, this isn't how it comes across to the autistic person. Let's Take A Moment To Explore What The World Would Likely Be Like If Everyone Really Were On The Autism Spectrum:
To really understand why everyone simply cannot be on the autism spectrum, we have to understand what the autism spectrum really is. We already discussed this in my April 3rd blog post entitled What Does It Mean To Be Autistic?, but it never hurts to review what we already know, so...
What Exactly Is The Autism Spectrum?: Autism spectrum disorder is a lifelong neurodevelopmental disability caused by differences in the wiring of the brain that cause difficulties with social communication & interaction. It also causes restricted or repetitive behaviors or interests. The key problem with stating that everyone is on the autism spectrum is the fact that autism spectrum disorder is a neurodevelopmental disability. In order to be autistic, you have to have a certain combination of autistic traits that impacts your daily life on a significant level. A Couple Important Points To Remember:
Hearing That Everyone Is On The Autism Spectrum Hurts So Much Because... It is dismissive & it minimizes our struggles. It also translates to everyone being just like us when we know that couldn't be further from the truth. Also, if everyone were autistic, how could we still be so misunderstood? Whether someone was diagnosed as a child or as an adult, (s)he has gone through a lifetime of feeling different from his or her peers. Telling us that everyone is on the autism spectrum, or any similar statement dismisses these differences & the significant difficulties that come with them. What You Should Do Or Say Instead: Offer a listening ear & a shoulder to cry on. Autistic people, myself included, often feel alone, unheard, & like their perspectives don't matter. They have more than likely had a difficult life beginning in early childhood. Help the autistic person feel less alone by truly listening & by showing him or her that you care. Truly listening & being compassionate are the best things you can do & will likely combat the loneliness that the autistic person is currently experiencing. Donald Triplett (otherwise known as Case 1), the first person in the world to ever be clinically diagnosed with autism, lost his battle to cancer last week, at the age of 89. (Donald Gray Triplett's obituary) Don lived the entirety of his life in the rural town of Forest, Mississippi & was blessed to live in a community where he was nurtured, accepted, & loved by all who knew him. He was accepted for being exactly who he was, differences, quirks, & all, & was often described as "a great guy" by others who lived in his community. Don was a deeply introverted child who did not respond to his parents' gestures or voices, did not play or interact with other children, had his own way of using the English language, had a fascination with spinning objects, & was very distant from others, living in his own little world apart from his family & the rest of society. However, Don also had many special abilities, was extremely intelligent, & was always listening & learning. His interests included number patterns, music notes, letters of the alphabet, & the presidents of the United States. According to his father, when he was only a year old, Don "could hum & sing many tunes accurately." At two & a half years old, he sang entire Christmas carols, in perfect pitch, that he only heard his mother sing once. He could also perform rapid two & three digit mental multiplication, giving you the answer faster than you could get it on a calculator. However, this did not prevent him from being institutionalized. Don grew up during a time where doctors ordered parents of children who were not "normal" to put their children in an institution. This was so that the parents could try to forget their child & move on with their lives. So, this is what Beamon & Mary Triplett did in August 1937, when Don was just three years old. However, his parents visited him monthly & absolutely did not forget about Don. Despite the institution’s director trying to talk them out of it, Don's parents pulled him out just one year later, in August 1938. They recognized Don's gifts & wanted to do what they could to help their son live a happy & productive life. His parents first brought Don to Baltimore to see Austrian child psychiatrist Dr. Leo Kanner in October 1938. After several more visits with Don & seeing more children with similar behavior patterns, Dr. Kanner diagnosed Donald with autism in 1943. Donald was the first person in the world to receive this diagnosis, leading the world in the study of the complexities of autism & offering hope to families. Not only did Don graduate from high school (where he was accepted by his teachers & classmates); but in 1958; he graduated from Millsaps College; in Jackson, MS; where he was a part of the Lambda Chi Alpha fraternity & studied French & math. Don learned how to drive in his late-twenties, worked at a local bank that was partially owned by his father for sixty-five years, & lived in his own house (the house he grew up in). His hobbies were playing golf (which he did every day) & traveling by himself around the world. John Donvan & Caren Zucker interviewed Donald Triplett & those who knew him, chronicling his life story for an article in The Atlantic entitled Autism's First Child. In the video below, the authors tell the story behind their article, including how the tracked Don down.
Don was later featured in the book, In A Different Key, which was later adapted into a PBS documentary.
The past week has been incredibly stressful for me. A little over a week ago, one of my dogs woke up from his night sleep covered in his own urine. This is the first time he has ever done that in his lifetime. He's never even done that when he was a tiny puppy, prior to being fully potty-trained. He's always warm (dogs' body temperatures are warmer than humans' body temperatures), but this particular morning, he felt warmer than warm. I put him in the bath tub while I called his vet & figured out what to do with him. Unfortunately, his vet wasn't able to get us in until 7:20 that evening. I wiped him down, but didn't give him a full bath because he hadn't quite had his flea & tick topical on for long enough before being able to be bathed. Plus, with him needing to go to the vet that evening & me being the germaphobe that I am, I wanted to bathe him after he came home from the vet rather than beforehand. I have to tell you, that day was the longest day ever. My little guy; who will be turning ten in a week; is typically such a lively, happy, energetic little man; but the life was completely sucked out of him. I had never seen him this lethargic & sickly before & that was quite scary & stressful. He didn’t pick up his head if someone walked in or if his name was called. But, it was even more alarming that he didn’t want belly rubs. That boy is the king of belly rubs. Even with the number of dogs I've cared for, I've never met a dog who loves belly rubs more than my sweet Teddy. When it was finally time for Teddy’s vet appointment, my mom & I both took him in. Based on his appearance as well as my observations that I shared with the vet, she thought that due to the area we live in, he probably had a tick-borne illness. He was brought back for a urine test & couple of blood tests (one of which was to check for tick-borne illnesses). Teddy tested positive for two out of the three tick-borne illnesses that he was tested for. Specifically, ehrlichiosis & anaplasmosis. I am super religious about combing my boys & checking them for ticks every single night. Plus, them being all white helps tremendously with being able to easily spot something like a tick on them. Not only that; I apply a flea, tick, & mosquito killer & repellent topical on them twice a month during the warmer months of the year; & I don’t allow them to romp around in tall grass, in wooded areas, & in all other places where ticks are likely to be. I did everything right & I never saw any ticks on him. The first day that I really thought he was almost all better was yesterday (exactly one week since symptoms started), but until I saw major improvements, I was stressed to the max. That would stress anyone out, autistic or not. With that in mind, let’s take a moment to talk about stress, how neurotypical people deal with it, how autistic people deal with it, & how I deal with it. What Is Stress?:
As explained by the World Health Organization: Stress can be defined as a state of worry or mental tension caused by a difficult situation. Stress is a natural human response that prompts us to address challenges and threats in our lives. Not everything that we experience that causes stress is negative. Here are some examples of negative & positive stressors. Negative Stressors:
Positive Stressors:
The Impacts Of Different Intensities Of Stress: Mild Stress: This type of stress typically motivates the individual to work as hard as (s)he can to achieve some type of end goal. Severe Stress: This type of stress is typically debilitating for both the individual & his or her performance. How Stress Affects Autistic People: Because autism tends to reduce the resources a person has to cope with challenges brought on by stress, an autistic person's experience with & their ability to handle various stressors will likely be much different than it would be for an allistic, or a non-autistic person. Autistic Comorbidities: In my blog post about why most autistics don't want a cure for autism, I mentioned the fact that there are a lot of comorbid disorders that tend to accompany autism. Some disorders that autistic people are at higher risk for are mood disorders. In fact, it is estimated that 10 to 50% of autistic people develop depression in their lifetimes & about 5% of autistic people develop bipolar disorder in their lifetimes. In the general population, prevalence rates for depression & bipolar disorder are much lower & are estimated to be up to 7% & less than 1%, respectively. Other mood disorders that autistic people are at a higher risk of developing include, but are not limited to anxiety disorders, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), & obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). Autistic people who are verbal & who do not have intellectual impairments are at a much higher risk of developing mood disorders than those who are non-verbal &/or are intellectually impaired. Due to the high prevalence of mood disorders in autistic individuals, stress could be highly problematic to cognitive, physiological, & behavioral functioning in the autistic population. Common Stressors For Autistic People:
Common Ways Autistic People React To Stress:
Studies Indicate That Autistic People Have Heightened Responses To Stress:
How Stress Affects Me: I have never been able to handle stress well. Stress tends to cause me to get flustered & prevents me from being able to think clearly or rationally. Depending on the intensity of the stress I am experiencing, it may cause shutdowns, which prevent me from being able to communicate verbally or non-verbally with others. Meltdowns are an extremely rare occurrence with me, but stress has caused meltdowns to happen in the past. My Most Common Stressors:
While some of the above stressors also may stress out allistic people, it is important to remember that I experience stress on a whole different level than what is considered normal. For example, there have been times in the past where I was trying to have conversations with my supervisors, but was unable to form simple coherent sentences due to the panic that resulted from my supervisor simply being in the same room as me. Another good illustration of how stress affects me is I have been told from multiple police officers that they thought I was on drugs during their initial interactions with me. I have never been on drugs in my life, but clearly, police officers stress me out so much that interacting with them causes me to act like I'm under the influence even though I am far from it. There will be a future blog post written about issues surrounding police officers & autism where issues like this will be discussed further. Today is my one year anniversary of me finding out I'm autistic (I can't believe it!), so in celebration of that, here are some things I've learned over the past year:
When I was in third grade, my mom got a job as a classroom aide at the elementary school I attended. And that's where she still works. Today, when she came home from work, my mom told us that one of the school busses was thirty minutes late this morning. One of the boys at her school told my mom that the reason why that bus was so late was because the children on the bus were so poorly behaved that the driver had to pull off the road to assign seats. Later on that day, my mom found out from one of the teachers she works with that there is also some bullying going on, on that same bus. The bullying had gotten so bad for a certain boy that his mom is afraid of sending him to school on the bus. Another boy does things to him, like pour his water from his water bottle onto this poor boy's head! I always try to link the things that happen in my everyday life to my experiences as an autistic woman. So, I wanted to take this as an opportunity to tell you about what it was like to ride the bus to school as an autistic student, long before I knew I was autistic. From the title of this blog post, you probably already know that I absolutely HATED riding the bus to school. Why I HATED Riding The Bus To School: I Was Afraid Of Getting On The Bus: When the bus pulled up to the bus stop, all the children ran to the bus because they wanted to get the BEST seat. The running children scared me. I have struggled with my gross motor abilities my entire life (this is a commonality among autistic people/children), so every day when it was time to get on the bus, I thought I was going to get trampled & injured from running children. I could feel a rush of adrenaline running through my body every time it was time to get on the bus. Being someone who has always avoided adrenaline-inducing activities, this felt absolutely terrible! I Usually Had No One To Sit With: This is a pretty self-explanatory reason, but when you're autistic, you tend to have trouble making & keeping friends. In the beginning of the school year, I would sometimes have a neighborhood girl to sit with, but as the year went on, that girl went on to make her own friends who she wanted to sit with on the bus. And where did that leave me? Alone of course. Not only was it embarrassing, but it made me so sad that no one wanted to be my friend. There Were Older Children On The Bus: There's a big difference between a first grader & a fifth grader. Whenever I was on the young end of whatever school I was in, I felt like being around older children was dangerous. I mean, I even felt like it was dangerous being around children my own age, so of course being around older children was even more frightening! One Of My Bus Drivers Was Scary: My middle school bus driver was crazy, mean, & scary! She often started driving before all the students were seated. Because of my gross motor difficulties, this was terrifying for me. She would also do things like yell at whoever had a dirty water bottle on the floor by his/her seat, being seemingly unaware that water bottles roll when the bus moves, so whoever she was yelling at likely wasn't responsible for leaving their dirty water bottle on the bus. It Was Loud: I didn't have noise sensitivities like the typical autistic student did, but I was a calm & quiet girl who preferred calm & quiet environments, rather than environments with excitable, yelling children. I Was Afraid Of Getting Off The Bus: Again, children moved much too quickly for my comfort level. Because of my gross motor difficulties, I have always had to take stairs slowly & cautiously. However, when it was time to get off the bus, I thought I was going to get trampled & injured from running children. I could feel adrenaline rushing through my body every time it was time to get off the bus. Having been an adrenaline-avoider my entire life, this felt absolutely terrible! I Was Afraid Of Missing The Bus: Again, because of my gross motor difficulties, it was hard for me to get to the bus at the end of the day quickly enough. This was particularly stressful in high school, when all of the busses were lined up at the front of the school simultaneously rather than being called over the loud speaker. There was never enough time for me to gather everything I needed in order to do my homework that night AND make it to the bus on time without stressing. If I were to miss the bus in high school, it would be particularly bad because it would mean that I would need to wait a whole extra hour & a half at the school in order for my mom to pick me up to go home, since she didn't get out of work until three o’clock & the high school was a twenty minute drive away. I don't think that ever happened, but the idea of it EVER happening terrified me. Just being in that school drained every ounce of energy I had that I couldn't wait to run away from the school building at the end of the day! (I'll tell you more about my experiences with school in a future blog post.) This is one of the many reasons why I was so relieved when I got my driver's license. Why I Never Struggled With Bullying On The School Bus:
I experienced very INTENSE bullying in school, but never had any problems with bullying while on the bus. The short reason why is simply because I always sat in the first few seats of the bus. The exact place where no one ever wants to sit on a school bus. If someone had ever hypothetically forced me to sit in the back of the bus, I would've been absolutely terrified because that's where the bullies sat. Even the kids who sat back there who were not bullies tended to be friends with them. The wild, loud, obnoxious athletes sat in the back of the bus. I generally didn't like athletes, unless they were runners, were part of the track team, or were tennis players. I wanted to do everything I could to stay away from bullies & everyone who associated themselves with them. Because I sat in the front of the bus, that was the only part of the day that bullies didn't bother me. They didn't go out of their way to bother the quiet, loner girl sitting in the front of the bus because she didn't want to be bothered by the bullies, among a plethora of other reasons. I was so glad about that. I sat in the front of the bus from when I was in kindergarten until I stopped taking the bus, when I was a high school sophomore. I Wished My Mom Drove Me To School! Within the past few months, I made a comment to my mom about how I hated riding the bus to school & I wished she drove me. I never understood why I had to take the bus to school. I assumed my mom had some very good reason for not driving me to school. Or that it was just too much trouble. I have always believed that I was too much trouble & caused too much worry. To my surprise, my mom never knew how much I hated riding the bus to school & she told me that she would've driven me if I had asked her to, particularly when I was in elementary school & I attended the same school she worked at. I wish I had known this twenty-five years ago. I have always been a meek person, as a child AND as an adult, both inside & outside of my family. I was really pushed by my special education teacher to advocate for myself when I was a junior & a senior in high school, in preparation for college, but speaking up for myself is & always had been difficult for me, particularly in my younger years. I know that is also likely why that despite all of the intense bullying that I endured, I never told anyone how painful it was, how much it bothered me. Issues I dealt with while I was in high school, & even while I was in middle school & while I was in elementary school are still affecting me well into my thirties. I'll share more about my experiences being a victim of such intense bullying in a future blog post. On my way home from my dog walking client's house today, I stopped at the grocery store to pick up a few things. I typically do this once a week. I wouldn't survive the grocery store without self-checkout. I seriously wouldn't. When I go shopping, I don't like to interact with store employees & actually cringe if an employee asks me if I'm finding everything I'm looking for alright. The Grocery Store Without Self-Checkout: About ten years ago, I worked as a cashier in a grocery store called Market Basket (worst experience of my life!). I would not recommend working as a cashier to any diagnosed or undiagnosed autistic person, but I'll tell you more about that later. Anyway, Market Basket prides itself as a full-service supermarket. When I worked there, I was told that Market Basket supermarkets do not have self-checkout because it is poor customer service. This is because it goes against their people taking care of people mentality. When I first heard about Market Basket's stance on self-checkout, I thought that that was the worst idea EVER. My opinion hasn't changed since. I am someone who depends on self-checkout, so any store assuming that people prefer cashiers over self-checkout isn't catering to all of their potential customers' needs. People who prefer to be checked out by a cashier would wait in the cashier line, while people like myself, who prefer to utilize self-checkout, whatever the reason may be, would go to that section of the store for check out instead. A new Market Basket opened in the town my parents & I live in & my mom's completely obsessed. She does all her shopping there now, even though it is a little further away than Stop & Shop, the grocery store she used to do all her shopping at. Several weeks ago, my mom suggested to me that I shop at Market Basket, as well. I asked her if Market Basket had self-checkout because I didn't feel comfortable shopping there if it didn't. I shared with her what I was told about self-checkout when I was a Market Basket employee. At first, my mom said that there was definitely a self-checkout section. However, she then realized that it wasn't self-checkout, but was express checkout. I still haven't stepped foot in that grocery store for that very reason. I mean, it doesn't make sense for me to go in there knowing that I'm not gonna be able to buy anything because the supermarket doesn't cater to my needs. When I mentioned the self-checkout issue to my dad, he said that whether or not having or not having self-checkout is good or bad customer service depends on who you're asking. I completely agree. I think that supermarkets who do not have a self-checkout section are actually providing poor customer service because they are not catering to all of their customers' needs. This is the exact opposite thing Market Basket is trying to achieve. I would think that extroverted & technology-illiterate people would be the type of people who would prefer cashiers over self-checkout. However, would these people think that the mere existence of a self-checkout section in a store is poor customer service? I don't think so. Curbside Shopping Or Self-Checkout?: There were many aspects of the coronavirus pandemic that made my life better. No longer needing to walk into stores to pick up the items I needed was one of the many things about COVID that benefitted me. I understand that there are many people who lost people they loved because of the virus. Luckily, I was not someone who lost anyone due to COVID, although I deeply sympathize with those who did. With the exception of the existence of the germ (that still sadly dictates my life), our way of life was actually better for me than the way we lived prior to the pandemic. The creation of curbside shopping was one of those things. Not having to go into stores to do my shopping & only having to have minimal interaction with one store employee who brought my items to my car was a literal dream. However, the thing that was less convenient was having to pick the time I will be at the store, several days ahead of time. I could never be spontaneous about when I was going to pick up my items, which is the kind of shopper I am. I like to be efficient with my time & with the gas in my car & it's hard to do that several days ahead of time, when I don't know for sure what the day is going to look like. These days, I prefer self-checkout over curbside shopping because it gives me much more flexibility. Plus, I generally feel safe in stores as long as I'm wearing a mask & I don't have prolonged contact with anyone. My Experience With Self-Checkout TODAY:
Even with how much I LOVE self-checkout, there are many problems with it. One of the problems is that the scale is WAY over-sensitive. The scale on a self-checkout station knows how much every item should weigh & it freaks out if it senses something that weighs even slightly more than it should. I get that this is the store's way of preventing theft, but there has to be a better way than having these machines freaking out at people all the time. I know that many cities & towns instituted this a long time ago, but my town JUST started charging for disposable grocery bags last month. Items fit much more nicely into paper grocery bags than they fit into insulated reusable grocery bags, which I was trying to use because it was ninety degrees outside. Most of the items I purchased were items that were prone to melting, plus insulated bags were the only kind of bags I had with me. I still have not gotten the hang of bagging groceries into reusable bags in a way that doesn't make the machine freak out. When the machine freaks out, I'm used to the person overlooking the self-checkout area coming over to the machine & simply putting his or her key in, so that I can continue scanning the rest of my items. The woman in charge of the self-checkout area today didn't do that, however. Instead, she insisted on having a conversation with me where she was telling me how to bag groceries & she became very accusatory. She even told me that she was trying to help me solve a problem, when I didn't think there was any problem that needed solving. The machine simply sensed some of my own body weight when I was trying to make the items fit into the bag better & it thought it detected an unpaid item. Any smart person could've told her that. However, this woman who came over to help me even showed me the surveillance video of me (on the self-checkout monitor) bagging groceries, like she was trying to prove to me that I was attempting to steal a $4 item. The item in my right hand was the item that I had just scanned that caused the machine to freak out. And the item in my left hand was the item that I was about to scan that I hadn't scanned yet. This is the way I have scanned groceries for years, including when I was a Market Basket cashier. This is the first time I have ever had a problem with this method. She then continued on by telling me that I only scanned one of the items I was holding & then proceeds to scroll through the entire list of items I had scanned thus far. I didn't think I was doing anything suspicious. I was simply an autistic woman who wanted to be left alone, so I could go about my day. I was beyond flustered with this woman & with my experience in the self-checkout area today, but am I going to go to a cashier the next time I go grocery shopping? Absolutely not; I'm simply going to cross my fingers AND my toes that this woman isn't there or if she is, she leaves me alone. That is how much I dislike interacting with cashiers when I shop. When There Is No Self-Checkout Option: A store not having a self-checkout option isn't a problem for me. It's the stores who think of self-checkout as a negative thing that I have a problem with. I can name several stores that don't have a self-checkout option, off the top of my head. PetSmart, Michaels, & Kohl's don't have self-checkout, for example. The last time I purchased items at any of those three stores, or at most other stores that don't have the self-checkout option; I utilized the purchase online, pick-up in store option. When paying via cashier is necessary, of course I oblige, but I only do that when it is absolutely necessary. I didn't post nearly as many times during the month of May as I did during the month of April, but I tried to post at least a couple times a week. So, I thought it would be good to start June off by looking back on everything that was covered during the month of May. Some of these posts were funner for me to write because since Autism Acceptance Month was now over, I could spend my time telling you about my personal experiences rather than educating you about autism in general. The first couple weeks of May were very stressful for me, & for my family, due to some situations that we were dealing with having to do with my grandpa. Some of those posts were difficult for me to write because I just didn't have the stamina due to the stress. Stress is something that I have never been able to deal with successfully. It causes me to just shut down & it takes a very long time for me to recover from it. That is a commonality among autistic people. Thank you so much for bearing with me & I hope my stress didn't come through too much in my posts during the first couple weeks of May. Also, on a completely different note, if you are new here, WELCOME! I am so glad to have you here! 💕 May's Blog Topics:
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AuthorHello! My name is Kim, I didn't know I was autistic until I was in my thirties, & this is my story. Categories
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