You may have heard of it, or maybe you haven't, but let's talk about what Spoon Theory is & how it applies to autistics. If you've ever heard someone exclaim, "I'm out of spoons!"; you might've been super confused. And no, (s)he didn't run out of silverware. It was Spoon Theory that (s)he was referring to. Spoonies, as we call ourselves, are people living with chronic illnesses, autism, mental health issues, terminal illnesses, disabilities, & more who use this theory to give their healthy family & friends a glimpse of what it's like to be in our shoes. What Exactly Is Spoon Theory?: Now, it's important to remember that I did not create Spoon Theory & I'm no Spoon Theory expert. I'm simply an autistic woman living with persistent, lifelong mental health issues who has benefited greatly from having a simple & concise way to explain my energy & ability levels on any given day. The Origin Of Spoon Theory: First, I highly encourage you to read the entire origin story of Spoon Theory, but here is Spoon Theory in a nutshell: Spoon Theory was originally created by Christine Miserandino, a woman with lupus. She & her best friend were at a diner late one night when her friend asked her what it was like to live with lupus. And that's when Spoon Theory was born. Christine handed her friend a collection of spoons as a concrete way to illustrate what it was like to live a day with lupus. "I explained that the difference in being sick and being healthy is having to make choices or to consciously think about things when the rest of the world doesn’t have to. The healthy have the luxury of a life without choices, a gift most people take for granted." Every chronically ill, autistic, mentally ill, terminally ill, & disabled person begins each day with a limited number of spoons. The number of spoons most spoonies begin the day with is twelve because that's how many spoons Christine handed her friend that night. And every task that you do throughout the day takes up one or more of your spoons. How many spoons each task takes up depends on how difficult the task is for you to do. Depending on the person & his or her illness or disability, certain activities may allow spoons to be replenished. I'll talk more about that later on in this blog post. Remember that an activity such as getting ready for work has to be broken down into smaller steps. Getting ready for & getting to work usually contain all or most of the following steps for most people:
Once a spoonie runs out of spoons, (s)he has no energy left for the rest of the day, so we have to make choices about how we're going to use our precious spoons. For example, are you going to shower or eat breakfast today? If you go to the grocery store after work today, will you have enough spoons left to cook? Healthy people have the luxury of not needing to make these choices because they wake up each day with an infinite number of spoons. While the Spoon Theory was originated by a woman with lupus, it applies to so many other illnesses & disabilities out there as well. How Does Spoon Theory Apply To Autistics?: Autistic people wake up each day with a limited number of spoons. Let's continue to use the number twelve. Sometimes the number of spoons we wake up with can be lower than what is typical. For example, if we had a meltdown yesterday or if we didn't sleep well, we might hypothetically start the day with eight spoons, no spoons, or a negative number of spoons rather than the typical twelve. We have to plan our days very carefully in order to conserve our spoons. We face unique struggles because we live in a world that wasn't built for us. Navigating a neurotypical world uses up our spoons at an astronomical rate. The tasks that I find to take up the most amount of spoons tend to involve interaction with people. Also, because of my vestibular sensitivities, I live my life in fear of germs & illness, so tasks that involve cleaning or being in close contact with people I don't know also take up a lot of spoons. The below image outlines how many spoons I use up for many of the typical tasks in my daily life (although some tasks are hypothetical). As you can see from the below image, many of us, myself included, consistently run on a spoon deficit. It would be impossible for me to only use twelve spoons in a day. I try to conserve my spoons as much as I can, but so many daily tasks take up such a significant number of spoons that spoon conservation is impossible. This is why autistic burnout & meltdowns are so common in the autism community. We are quite simply out of spoons. Most days, I wake up feeling like I am out of spoons before I'm even out of bed because the limited number of spoons I am given each day just isn't enough. When you've run out of spoons every single day of your life, it really takes a toll on you. Because I am consistently spoon-deficient, I try to avoid the majority of tasks that take up five & six spoons. The only task in this group of tasks that I passionately love doing is taking care of my grandfather. Autistic people do not handle stress well & because caregiving is very stressful, it takes up a lot of spoons. However, it also can be very rewarding & it gives me precious time with my grandfather, which I love. Spoon Replenishment: While I am consistently running on a spoon deficit, I feel lucky that sometimes, my spoons can be replenished. This isn't the case with all spoonies. The below image outlines how I personally experience spoon replenishment. Certain activities are much more effective at accomplishing this than other activities. Sleep is something that helps replenish spoons for many spoonies, but that isn't something that helps me. I have many other things that replenish my spoons though, which I am grateful for. Because my spoons are used up much more quickly than they are replenished, this only helps my spoon deficit ever so slightly. Why Does Spoon Theory Help?: I love Spoon Theory because it gives our community a common language that explains our daily energy levels in a simple way. It also helps our healthy & neurotypical family & friends understand what their ill or disabled family & friends are facing in a concrete way. Sometimes, it may look to others that we are lazy when that isn't the case at all. We are simply out of spoons. Without this language & understanding, many of us would be using more of our precious energy than we had left explaining to our family & friends that we are all out of energy. (How ironic is that?!) If you’re new to Spoon Theory, I hope that this explanation helps you to see the struggles that us spoonies face on a daily basis in a new way. And if you know me on a personal level, I hope this helps you understand me better, too. 💙
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AuthorHello! My name is Kim, I didn't know I was autistic until I was in my thirties, & this is my story. Categories
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May 2024
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