What Is Autistic Masking, Anyway? Autistic masking, otherwise known as camouflaging, is sometimes used by autistic people to disguise or minimize specific autistic traits or behaviors in social situations. Why Do Some Autistic People Mask? Some reasons autistic people might mask include, but are not limited to:
Who Masks? While any autistic person may mask, it is more likely for autistic people to mask if they:
What Are Some Examples Of Masking?
What Are The Consequences Of Masking?
Masking & Me:
Ways I Masked Growing Up:
Ways I Mask As An Adult:
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WELCOME to the first Autism Acceptance Month blog post of 2024! Today, I wanted to take a few steps back & go over some autism terms & what they mean. I use many of these terms throughout my blog & I try to provide definitions as I write. It's always good to take the time to pause & review what some of these terms mean though. And there's no better time to do that than when we're kicking off Autism Acceptance Month! Important Autism Terms & Definitions:
My mom & I went to see Barbie this afternoon. I thought I would never, ever see this movie. My impression of this movie before knowing anything about it was that it was just a silly doll movie. Plus, I absolutely downright HATED Barbie growing up. My mom came home a couple days ago & told me she wanted to see this movie with me because she kept hearing people saying that it is a great movie for mothers & daughters to see together, it has great messages, & it has made them both laugh AND cry. I rolled my eyes, but agreed to go with her. Barbie & Me: At all of my birthday parties as a child, I would inevitably receive at least one Barbie doll. I mean, it was such a popular gift for a girl growing up in the 90's, but receiving one as a gift completely stressed both my mom & me out. I can still hear my mom right now: "When you open a Barbie at your birthday party tomorrow, remember to say thank you." Scripting was a common occurrence in my childhood. I didn’t know how to properly react to certain situations, so my mom had to prep me ahead of time. There was no gift I hated to receive more than Barbie. Now, picture an autistic girl trying to hide her disappointment in a gift that she knew she would inevitably receive, that she truly hated. That was HARD. Really HARD. If it wasn't for my younger brother who liked to play with my Barbies' hair & very inappropriately take her clothing off, my Barbies would never have even come out of their boxes to this day. 😂 😂 Why I Hated Barbie: I simply didn't know how to play with her or what to do with her. As I discussed in my blog post about autism gender differences & what autism looks like in females, one of the most common traits in both male & female autism is not knowing how to engage in pretend play. One difference between autistic boys & girls is that little girls are taught at very young ages to be little caretakers. They look at their moms, their friends' moms, & other important women in their lives who spend their lives caring for children. And they mimic their actions by doing the same things with their baby dolls & stuffed animals. I remember enjoying taking my baby dolls or stuffed animals out for stroller rides, feeding them pretend food, giving them baths or changing their diapers, & even pretending to nurse them. 😳 Boys are typically not taught these caretaking skills. So, it is much easier for outside adults to pick up on little autistic boys struggling with pretend play than it is for them to pick up on little autistic girls struggling with the same thing, who were taught these caretaking skills, like I was. This is one reason why more boys receive autism diagnoses than girls do & why boys tend to be diagnosed at younger ages than girls are. Because Barbie dolls aren’t the type of dolls that you play with by mothering, I just didn’t know how to engage in the type of pretend play that was required in order to play with them. In fact, I remember coming home from a friend’s house one day & proudly telling my mom that I successfully played with Barbies that afternoon. The reason why this made me so happy was because of how difficult playing with Barbies was for me. I didn’t enjoy playing with Barbies that day, but I still remember thinking that since I am a girl without a lot of friends, I wanted the friends I did have to like me & to have fun playing with me. I didn’t (& I still don’t) have an open mind about the kinds of activities I engage in, but I made a conscious decision that day to expand my boundaries in an effort to be fun for my friend to play with. Barbie, The Movie 🎥:
Is Autism Really More Common In Males?: Statistically, boys are four times more likely to be autistic than girls, but because we know so much more about autism now than ever before, we are now questioning if it is actually more common in boys or if it is just more commonly diagnosed in boys. Since it was historically believed that autism was more prevalent in boys than in girls, scientists & doctors have focused their autism research on boys. Because of this, the diagnostic criteria for autism is modeled around male behavior. What we didn't know until very recently is that autism can look very differently in girls. Since autistic girls often have different traits that do not match the diagnostic criteria for autism, traits are easier to miss & are mistaken for other things, like shyness & social anxiety, which are much more socially acceptable in girls than in boys. Girls are also more likely to mask their autistic traits & may mimic appropriate social behaviors by copying behaviors that they see in everyday life & on tv in order to fit in. For example, many girls & women force themselves to maintain eye contact by looking in between someone's eyes rather than into them if eye contact makes them uncomfortable. (I do this until a certain level of comfort with a person is reached, which is when eye contact becomes comfortable & natural for me.) Masking is something that is much less common for boys & men to do. Girls are also often diagnosed with depression &/or anxiety, conditions that frequently coincide with autism, rather than with autism spectrum disorder itself. Because scientists & doctors just began learning about how autism presents itself differently in females within the past decade, many women in their twenties & older have just now been receiving the autism diagnoses that they deserve. Many of these late-diagnosed autistic women never presented stereotypical male autistic traits. These women tended to be evaluated for & diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder after having significant problems with things in their adult lives such as treatment-resistant mental health issues, employment, friendships, romantic relationships & more (all things I struggle with). Other women were diagnosed after their child(ren) was/were diagnosed & they recognized some of the same traits in themselves. I truly believe that the reason I was not diagnosed during childhood is because of my gender. What Does Autism Look Like In Females?:
Social Deficits
Pretend Play One of the most common traits of both male & female autism is not knowing how to participate in pretend play. However, it is more likely that this struggle will be noticed in boys because girls tend to be taught from a very young age to be little caretakers, taking care of a baby doll or a stuffed animal. Because boys tend to be not taught this, struggling with pretend play is much more obvious in males. However, I only knew how to play with baby dolls & stuffed animals. When my little cousin asked me to use her plastic horses & farm animals to engage in pretend play with her, that was a struggle for me. I would often ask my little three-year-old cousin what to say or do. My aunt bringing out a craft project for me to help my cousin with brought great relief! Special Interests One of the most common symptoms of both male & female autism is having a special interest. However, male special interests tend to be very specialized & technical, where female special interests tend to be more "normal." For females, the level of intensity of the interest is what is abnormal. Because of this, it can be harder to notice the difference between a "normal" interest & a special interest. Common special interests in females are:
Wheels Many autistic children have a fascination with spinning wheels that are on a toy truck or train, for example. However, because toy vehicles tend to be boy-specific toys & I was a very feminine girl, I didn't own any toys that had wheels other than a child-sized stroller I used to push my baby dolls & stuffed animals around in the neighborhood. Miscellaneous
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AuthorHello! My name is Kim, I didn't know I was autistic until I was in my thirties, & this is my story. Categories
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